Music

I never thought I would come back to music after getting my PhD in English all those years ago.  I guess I did not realize just how deeply engrained music is in my DNA, how much a part of my identity is tied up in music. I'm not happy just playing my guitar--I have to compose songs now.  It's like I can't help myself.  The songs I write are the songs of a novice, I know, but that's okay.  It's not about what other people might like at this stage--it's about what gives me pleasure.  It's really all about the act of creating the song, of playing around with words and melodies.  I am not, nor will I ever be, a professional musician, and that is okay with me.  My music can never be taken away from me.  It is inside of me--in my heart, in my dreams.  And as corny as that sounds, that's okay too.  The music I make is for me, my husband, and my dog.  I figure as long as the dog doesn't cover her ears, and if my husband doesn't gag when I play and sing, I'm doing alright.  Who knows--maybe one day, when I've practiced long enough, I'll play in public, more than once. . . .