today's subject: travel jitters

I love to travel. I love to see the sights, meet new and interesting people, sample other cultures, etc. What I don't like is the waiting, waiting, waiting the few days before flying. I get what I like to call "travel jitters"--my heart beats a little faster, which makes a little bit dizzy; I have a bit of an upset stomach; I can't sleep; I feel irritable. I wonder if other people experience this phenomenon as well? I almost wish there were such a thing as suspended animation for trips like this one to Turkey. Then I could just go to sleep and wake up in my hotel room in Turkey, no problem. Oh, here I am. I'm in Istanbul. Cool. Let's go see some mosques! But no, I must deal with this unpleasant malady and live like the rest of humanity--on the edge of my seat, breathless with anticipation, sleep-deprived, anxious, but--also hyper with happiness at the prospects of what await us in Istanbul and the rest of our vacation. I'm already packed and we aren't even leaving for four more days. Can't wait, can't wait, can't wait! The only thing left to do is get on the plane. Oh, but first, I have to make sure all of my little "toiletries" are ready to go in my little travel pouch: make-up, facial cleanser, meds, ear plugs, etc. . . .Oh, the joys of travelling. Sunglasses, sun screen--it's going to be hot in Turkey. ; )

Question: why do I let mean, small, manipulative, insecure women get me down? I looked so forward to growing up--getting out of high school, going to college, expanding my horizons, having a career, but mostly, just growing up and all that means: leaving behind the pettiness, the strategically placed comments meant to hurt and undermine the person on the receiving end. Alas, this behavior, perpetrated in my high school by mean, small, manipulative insecure girls, does not seem to have happened only in high school. Such girls grow up to be such women. And too bad for the rest of us who have to deal with their bad behavior. Too bad someone in high school didn't set them straight. Too bad. I need a strategy that will sustain me through having to deal with such women throughout my life--I realize that now. I must find a way to guard my heart and secure my own soul against the attacks launched by such women. And I should pray for all of my friends for this same protection. The worst offenders are those who mask themselves as friends and then--voila--they become another creature right before our eyes. In the twinkling of an eye, they transform themselves into the all-too-familiar Bitch we've all be warned of by our mothers and our friends. By the time they have snuggled up to you as a so-called friend, you have, unfortunately, opened up your heart in acceptance and trust, only to have that trust trampled on. I don't want to stop trusting; I just want to prevent further hurt--as my husband says, "Buck up!" The Bitch is just an insecure woman who wants to feel big and important by putting someone else down. And often is jealous of other womens' accomplishments. So, instead of anger, it is pity I should feel. And I should feel lucky to have escaped this same fate myself. Whew!

Couch Time

Oh my--it's finally summer vacay--time to stretch out, relax, take stock, and regroup. My favorite time of year without a doubt. But then, as soon as the leaves start to turn in late August, I'm looking forward to another school year. I wonder if every teacher is like this--we are geared into that school calendar. It probably shows up in our DNA or something. My blood has chalk in it--or is it white board marker ink? At any rate, yay for summer! Mike and I are getting ready to head to Turkey for a few weeks. Another adventure--last time it was Australia--koalas, gators, and huge bats, believe it or not. I'm not sure what to expect on this trip--we'll be spending some time in Cappadochia--I'm really looking forward to seeing the caves and the quirky landscape there. And we'll also go to Ephesus and walk in the footsteps of the Apostle Paul. The ruins of that city are supposed to just be incredible. And then, there's the Aegean Sea! and in Istanbul the Hagia Sophia, the Blue Mosque, Top Kapi, etc.... It should be pretty darn cool. I wanted to learn a little Turkish before I went, but that plan didn't exactly come together. I'm not very disciplined, I'm afraid. Maybe there's still time to learn Please and Thank You! Later. . . .

Four Days and Counting

November 4th--I can hardly believe it is almost here. I will be so relieved. It's been way, way too long since the last time. Oh, I'm not talking about the Presidential election--no, nothing as grand as that. I'm talking about my mammogram. You know, that annual, supposedly, time when you go into the little room with the machine that squeezes your breasts flat while the nice nurse takes a picture? Don't get me wrong. I am THANKFUL that I have the wherewithal to go to a mammogram. I am grateful that I have a job and health insurance, and that such a service is available to me, even encouraged. But let's face it, the mammogram is right up there with a trip to the dentist. Not something I look forward to. In fact, I would rather go to the dentist. I have a friend who is going through radiation for breast cancer right now--the mammogram she had could very well have saved her life. And so I want to honor her and all of the other women out there who have faced this disease. And like my friend said, this disease, if caught early, is one of the most curable of cancers. Who am I to neglect my health because it is uncomfortable. I'll report back when I've actually made the appointment to get that other mandatory procedure when we turn 50. Oh, yes, that one.

Sharing the Wealth

Okay, so I don't know much about political systems, I can't remember half of the history I learned in school, but I do know that "sharing the wealth" is not a bad thing, especially when compared with "trickle down economics"--I'm not afraid that my piece of the pie is going to be eaten by some lazy person who doesn't deserve to get dessert. Since when did you have to deserve to eat?
It is shameful that we live in a country where so very many of us can't afford even the most basic health insurance. People have lost, or are losing, their jobs and their homes, not to mention any dreams of retirement. And yet we are told that "sharing the wealth" is a dirty, Socialist phrase. I like what Cornell West said on Bill Maher's "Real Time"--in a discussion of the term "social justice", Dr. West said "Social justice is what love looks like in public." Wow. Don't you just love someone who can sum it all up so beautifully? Dr. West, may I borrow your terminology? Can it be that Barak Obama shares the vision of Dr. West and many like him, that society would be a better place if there were more sharing of all kinds of wealth--we could all be a little more like Robin Hood, huh?

I Never Cease to Be Amazed

Autumn in the Pacific Northwest can be soggy, but not this season. Here we are at the end of October, and it feels more like October in the Southeast. Sun, that rare commodity in our corner of the world, has stuck around for several glorious days. As I ride the bus to work in the mornings, I hear people sitting around me sigh as we all contemplate the view from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. This is why we live here, we tell ourselves, and each other, and anyone who visits here when the rain has settled in for the winter. "Oh, but you should see it when it's sunny. It's why we live here!" And the visitors nod their heads sagely--"Oh, sure"--as the rain comes down in buckets, or in a fine mist, or somewhere inbetween. But we know that the rain keeps it green here. And that's okay. I can live with that. Just wait until March, when it's been raining for a month straight, with at least two more months of rain to look forward to. Just wait. The people on the bus will sigh and say, "Two more months. And look how green it is!"

the election

Here we are again, election time in the land of the free and the home of the brave. Let's hope we are brave enough to survive the economic woes to make it to the other side. I am not old enough to have lived through the Great Depression, and my parents were only about 7 years old at the time, but I've heard stories, as I'm sure all of us Baby Boomers have, about the deprivations and dire outlooks for the future. No doubt many people suffered greatly in that time. No doubt that their children and their children's children will bear witness for years to come. But we are still here. We're here and we're going through a financial crisis--again. Is this just evidence of the fact that everything old is new again--that tired cliche? Or does this mean that the greed of mankind never tires? Or?? Whatever personal meaning we can glean from this crisis, like any other, should help us to "shore up the ruins," as T. S. Eliot said about modern life. Amid the political wrangling and name calling and back stabbing and soap-opera dramas, ordinary life goes on. We go to work, we cook dinners and eat with our families, we go to football games, to church, we sing in the choirs, we read the newspapers, we ride the bus, we shop for groceries. And we choose to find a way to make it work. This choice to survive is what separates us from the animals--instinct can go only so far. Hearts and minds together, we choose to keep going, putting one foot in front of the other, not out of instinct, but out of love. More later. . . .